A promised chuckle

This one is for Matt whom I promised to lay of the mushy stuff and write a funny one gosh dangit. So her you go my fine brother I hope you enjoy this blog and it gives you a chuckle.
I played softball today and for the first time in my life I argued on behalf of a ref. This is truly a rair almost non existent event. Yes shockingly enough I am a little passionate about sporting events. I have to remind myself to remain calm watching little league games when I don't know anyone. I take BYU games personally if there is a bad call you might as well have slapped my grandma and kissed my wife. That's right I get a little worked up. I am on a self imposed ban from church basketball. i don't want to add to the problems I face on judgement day and there is the whole love your neighbor thing. It never said trash talk your brother in the gospel and have it escalate into a full blown bench clearing brawl involving deacons. I like to blame someone else but some of the blame lies with me, not all some. But tonight my mom was there to make sure I remained calm and boy was she surprised when I really was calm in fact I was being super nice and at a sporting event. There was a moment of stunned silence and shock but I know underneath that stunned exterior beat the heart of a proud mom. had the ump been wearing a Utes hat I would have been morally obligated to inform him what a piece of blind trash he was and then throw a comment about his questionable lineage. If that were the case Mom would still have been proud because she taught me what is right and wrong and the appropriate reaction to people with such poor taste like die hard Ute fans:). Just to not lose face by the end of the game I had yelled a few hurtful things about questionable calls and there were many believe me.

Happy Happy birthday children dear.

If I could make the wish my wife made while blowing out the candles on her cake I would. I am 99% sure that whatever she wishes for would improve the life of all who know her whether spiritually or temporally. It might be for help[ with her calling or the strength to be a better missionary. It might be help to be a better mother or wife or friend. It might be for world peace. The one thing I can guarantee is it won't be selfish because that is not Tink. It never has been. I have known my wife for 29 years and she has always amazed me. she is not perfect but her imperfections are covered over by her total AWESOMENESS. She tries her best at everything and it drives her nuts if it is not just right. She always has a million things on her mind and most of the time it is other people. If you don't believe me try to get her to focus on just you for a minute. She tires to love everyone and make everyone happy. So on your birthday I hope you have the Happiest birthday ever you deserve it. And most of all I love you completely.

Precious

Have you ever noticed that the most precious thing are often the treasure that we often overlook or sometimes don't point out in the day to day hubbub which is life. It might be our Grandmas that we always loved and cherished. It might be a diamond wedding ring that's value no longer lies in the diamond or gold but has transcended those values and now represents something much longer lasting and eternal. While listening to conference today one of the speakers mentioned his precious wife and Trina wondered if I thought she was precious to me. The answer is YESSSS. Let me explain on Jon world the planet that I reside on Trina is the sun the moon and the air. In other words she is life. She is the first thing I think of when I hear my alarm and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. She is there in my mind throughout the day and in every decision I make. I drive a little more carefully because not only do I not want to die and leave her I don't want to disappoint her with a ticket. I pretty much try to gear my life to make her happy if she needs a break I try to give her one. If she wants something it honestly hurts if I can't get it. And though I know I am far from perfect and seriously lacking in many ways if I ever do get a chance to speak in general conference(and the mere fact that I would be speaking in general conference would prove that the church might not be true) I would tell the whole world that my wife is the most precious thing in my life. She is what makes it all worth it. And she is one hot sexy momma brothers and sisters. Okay ma bey that last part might be left out just for the sake of time but it is just as true. So Tink there is your answer. I love you. Amen

P.M.S. pissy man syndrome.

Yes it is true that its not just the gals who suffer from PMS. We men suffer from the occasional craziness and I mean crazy. Like the rip the head off of small innocent forest creatures. Snap out at the innocent bystandards on the street or on the road. I have been alot grumpy the last few days but today I was in rare form. It was a little ugly and despite the fact that I knew I was being a little piss ant I still was. I usually am a nice guy but not today no siree Bob. So for your viewing pleasure here are the top ten PMS moments some from today some not some mine some not.

the envelope please.

10. FREAKING OUT AT A TWO YEAR OLD ABOUT GOING TOO BED AND THROWING A HISSY FIT. (ME NOT THE TWO YEAR OLD)
9. FREAKIN OUT A LITTLE WHEN A BERRY SMOOTHIE GETS SPILLED AT COSTCO. TALK ABOUT CRIEING OVER SPILLED MILK.
8. YELLING AT EVERY OTHER DRIVER ON THE ROAD. AND YES THERE WAS YELLING AND A WHOLE LOT OF INCOHERANT RAMBLING.
7. SPIKEING A VHS TAPE WHEN I COULD NOT FIND SOMEONE TO TAPE THE SUPERBOWL. IN MY DEFENSE IT WAS THE SUPERBOWL BUT THE SPIKE WAS A BIT MUCH.
6. THIS ONE IS MY BROTHER IN LAWS. TELLING EVERY OLYMPIC ATHLETE THAT THERE WHOLE LIFES WORK IS A HUGE WASTE AND POINTLESS. AND I MEAN EVERY ATHLETE. HE WAS FEELING THE SPIRIT THAT DAY.
5. WATCHING A BYU GAME AND JUST LOSING IT (EVEN WORSE THAN BYU WAS LOSING IT) I MEAN THE COLLAPSE OF THE FREE WORLD LOSE IT. NOT A GOOD MOMENT BUT I REPEAT THIS ONE EVERY SEASON.
4. EVERY TIME I HAVE EVER HAD CAR TROUBLES IT IS LIKE INSTANT PMS.
3. WALMART CHRISTMAS TIME. NEED I SAY MORE. IT GOT UGLY.
2. BLACK FRIDAY AT A SURVIVAL STORE AT FOUR IN THE MORNING IN SALT LAKE. I BARELY SURVIVED. WHO KNEW THAT BLACK FRIDAY WAS CRAZY AT SURVIVAL STORES AT FOUR IN THE MORNING . THEY ARE TRUST ME.
1. EVERY TIME ANY HUSBAND ALL OF A SUDDEN GETS REAL QUIET FOR NO REASON AND GETS A CRAZY LOOK IN THERE EYES. ALL WOMEN KNOW THE LOOK. THIS IS NUMBER 1 BECAUSE THIS HAPPENS THE MOST. I CALL IT THE SILENT CRAZY EYE.
WHEN YOU SEE THIS LOOK HIDE ALL CHILDREN AND OLYMPIC ATHLETES WITH SENSITIVE EARS.

Pick on jonny month?

What the heck is this and why does it have a whole month dedicated to it. The reason is lack of childhood entertainment in Nephi. Yes its true my brother and sister were bored and what does any kid do when he is bored? They dedicate a whole month to torturing there favorite sibling thats what. Yes its all fun and games untill its your month and then the storm clouds roll in. I feel that there is enough stress in my life and therefore I have created a foundation P.E.T.J. thats right people for the ethical treatment of Jonny is a force to be reckoned with and they are always watching. So far there is one member, me but we are expanding and soon there will be me and a few people thinking about joining. Hey grass root movements have to start somewhere. So solidarity brothers and may the force be with you.