Thursday, July 30, 2009

Peace like a river.

This is nor one of my ever exciting stories this is a blog so deal with my rant please. I was thinking what it would and will feel like to rap up in the arms of Christ. I can only imagine the excitement of the moment but everytime I think of the moment I can only think of one feeling Peace. Peace from the world. Peace from worry and peace from daily strife. No loss no grief no pain no war in the heart. Just warm loving peace. I hope he thinks of me as his friend. I hope he lets his atonement wash my sins away. I hope he stands as my advocate. With him I know I will find that peace. I remember when I knew he loved me. Not just me as in I am me one of a trillion chidren of our Heavenly Father. But me as what I can be. He knows me personally. He knows my likes he knows I like fishing and hunting. He knows I like football and sports. He knows my loves and my hates. And what is more amazing to me is he cares about that stuff. His love is the river that runs through our hearts and brings the peace to our soul. I pray I will always strive to have that peace in my heart ALWAYS.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Story @ Real men skin skunks. Yeah real stupid men

Yes as you might have guessed already my second story has all the elements of a great story. Adventure, Boldness, and a tragic hero in the end. Let me say to start is generally I am a rather intelligent fellow but when me and my brother in law get together we sometimes are twelve years old again and those twelve year old brains do things that as a adult would say are STUPID. A few summers ago we were in Nephi and my brother in law Jon came running into the house with the exciting news that he had hit the mother load of practical jokes, a skunk skin. Only problem was it was still attached to the very much alive and ticked off skunk. The skunk had been in the live trap all day and was not thrilled. Upon further investigation we turned are adult brains off and began to think like boys. We made the game plan all we needed was a checklist
1. Big old piece of carpet. Check
2. Cage with big old skunk in it. Check
3. two stupid brothers. Check
4. Truck to load skunk in. Check
5. Creek to drowned skunk in. Check
Yes folks we do not go into things willy nilly we think things out. So here's how it went. We approached the skunk carpet up and prepared for spray. Now let me tell you from experience from a distance skunks stink but once you have experienced a full spray up close and personal it does not just stink it is all encompassing. It makes every part of you want to barf then die. So the skunk sprayed the carpet and we had our skunk loaded in the truck for the ride to the creek and doom. At the creek things continued to go swimmingly. Jon did not want to ruin his new boots so I had to get in to drown the evil creature from heck. All the while Jon laughed as I stood on the carpet on the cage in the middle of the creek.
Next came the skinning. Now I have skinned many animals and never have gotten sick or grossed out until this moment. Heavenly father never intended skunks to be skinned it was not part of the plan and those who go against his plan are punished. And we were I have never felt more smote than while I was skinning that skunk. It was indescribably awful. Yucky yuck yuck. Icky poo poo. and several other bad things.
Well it all worked out Jon got his skunk skin tanned and it turned out great I feel like I should have gotten visitation rights or something. Next time i think we will just go buy a realistic looking stuffed animal skunk. Now every time I drive down the road and smell a skunk it gags me to the point of chunks. Next time someone says they hit the mother load of practical jokes run real fast and don't stop

Friday, July 24, 2009

three truths and one lie story 1. Merry Christmas.

Yes my wife has convinced me to give this story format a go so here goes four exciting story's from my life.

Last Christmas we went to Trinas family Christmas party at one of her Uncles house. We were all having a great time the house was crowded and full of fun christmas spirit. We had a fun delicious dinner and were just starting into dessert when the incident happened we were all crowded in the living room and I decided to be extra friendly to trinas cousin who I was trying to be extra friendly too. So I walked over to her sat down and said hi there blank (names have been changed to protect all parties involved.) I then grabbed her leg not hard but just in the friendly knee squeeze. Well from blanks reaction you would have thought I had squoze her leg off. She lost it and started hitting me in a failed attempt to beat the living crap out of me. After a good solid minute of this futile beating she wore her self out so I asked if she had hurt herself by hitting me so hard so many times. I said this to prevent myself from getting upset and throwing blank through the window into the cold. Well I went back to eating my piece of pie while the rest of the family just stared at me in shock wondering what the heck that one was all about. And frankly I was trying to figure it out myself. So there I sat calm and mad but completly under control. A minute later blank returned with a glass of cold water that she felt the need to throw on me. So she did. And there i sat wet, eating undercooked apple pie not really feeling the christmas spirit anymore and trying not to lose my cool. Because I love my wife and her family I chose to stay reasonable and not spill any blood at the family christmas party. At the time this was a huge insult and i was madder than heck. But now looking back it was such a absurd incident that I can't help but laugh. And I completly avoid blank because windows are expensive and not easily replaced.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Blood sucking Vampires.

Yes folks it is true I am a proud donater of Plasma. Yes someone soon will be feeling much better because they have a little bit of my awesomness to help them though the day. But let be honest for a second there was a moment during that second go around where I felt like a dairy cow only without the utters. You are lined up in rows and they hook you all up to machines and a hour latter you are done. Minus the cud chewing and the smell it was very dairyesque. And blood is not very romantic when you get away from twilight books. In fact it is a little weird to look across the aisle and see blood from another person coming into a machine and back out again. But there are perks the cows have there hay and I get 50 bucks a week and a hour in a super comfortable chair. cows don't even get that . There are every sort at the plasma place and for a people watcher like myself i must admit it is somewhat entertaining. You have your chatty Kathys and your trucker dudes you have the pretty boys and the cowboys, the skaters and the jocks. It is a lot like High School Musical minus the annoying songs. oh yeah and the blood. So maybe I will see some of you there all the cool kids are doing it. Minus my wife she is nursing and can't right now. I bet you won't hear that sentence in High School musical 4 but you never know.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Dog days of summer

Holy crap it is hot out there. Not the kind where you think oh i will be okay out there its just a little uncomfortable. No this hot is the holy crap kind. The kind that kills brain cells. Like that old saturday morning commercial with the frying egg "this is your brain. This is your brain outside today" crap plop sizzle. Summer is hit the drag phase. Its hot, the holidays are almost over and school is just around the corner. Sorry kids I just had to say it. Her I will say it again School. Did you get the chills, I did. We watched the movie fever pitch last night and the sad thing was I saw some of myself in the main dude. Only BYU football is my weakness. I get a little crazy and intense about football. I am normally such a normal coolheaded dude that sometimes I suprise myself by doing things like throwing up a little in my mouth when I see Uof U junk and stuff like that. Or the time I could not watch the super bowl and spiked a VHS tape in a moment of rage. Not a proud moment but I found out that you can spike a tape and it might not break. This is a preseason thank you to my wife. Thanks Babe for letting me be who I am and still loveing me and even playing along sometimes. She avoids the color red during the fall. What a woman. She even bought me season tickets two years ago for our anniversery. We were at the 13th floor of the Joseph Smith Building and the couple was getting engaged next to us. Well needless to say I was more excited about my season tickets than that girl was about her ring. I even cried a little I was so happy. That was so awesome. Well now that I have rambled on I will leave you with a famous quote " Its so hot here Benny I am bakin like a toasted cheeser"

Friday, July 3, 2009


Sometimes the moment just hits and wappoh. You miss someone. And that moment just hit. But it is hitting me different everytime. It is not the sorrow hit but the miss the wise counsel kind. Sometimes I wish I could justy crawl up next to Granny, play with her arm flab eat a piece of freedent and tell her all my problems and let her tell me how amazing I am. Because she always no matter what, thought you were. Why? Why did she see the best in people? Because she knew who people are inside and everyone has some good potential. Why she would even like Obama because he is as my Granny was, Shhh I'll whisper it a DEMOCRAT. Yes its true. The only person Granny hated was Bush. And she did flip off Huntsman at peach days but she has since forgiven him i'm sure. Huntsman not Bush never Bush. But back on track.
She made you feel the peace that comes from pure faith and love. She just loved us. She loved my kids my wife. And she loved me. Yes in my family the name of Granny is sacred and for those who did not get the pleasure of her companyI am sorry, but she had some important things to tend to she probably is taking all those trips her and Granpa missed out on. Airfare is cheap in paradise. But sometimes I know she is here with us just to check and make sure and let us know we are awesome. She is there when I smell a rose. She is there when I test my wifes seafood salad. She is there when I freak out and pull a Iona. She is there when I hold my kids just like she used to. And the thing I am looking forward to the most this Ute Stampede/Sperry reunion is that she will be there. She loves a party and this should be a good one. Love ya Granny . Thanks